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7 Kalimat yang Tak Boleh Didengar Anak

Berbagai masalah rumah tangga, pekerjaan, sampai kenakalan anak tak jarang membuat Anda lepas kontrol dan marah. Bahkan tak jarang, anak-anak menjadi sasaran kemarahan Anda, entah melalui sikap ataupun kata-kata kasar yang keluar dari mulut Anda. Hati-hati bila Anda sering kelepasan bicara seperti ini. "Kata-kata bisa menjadi sumber inspirasi, tetapi juga bisa melukai perasaan," ungkap Chick Moorman, penulis buku Parent Talk dan Spirit Whisperers.

 

Meskipun anak Anda menimbulkan banyak masalah, sebagai orangtua tak sepatutnya Anda melontarkan kata-kata yang menyakitkan bagi anak. Efek dari ucapan kasar tersebut sering kali lebih merugikan daripada yang Anda bayangkan. Contohnya seperti ini:

1.
"Kalau nakal, Ibu akan meninggalkanmu di sini." Anda mengancam dan menakuti anak-anak dengan harapan agar mereka patuh pada perintah Anda. Perlu Anda ketahui, ketakutan terbesar anak-anak kecil adalah tersesat sendirian dan merasa tidak aman. Oleh karena itu, tindakan Anda meninggalkannya sendirian akan menimbulkan trauma bagi dirinya.

 

Alih-alih mengancam dan menakuti anak, lebih baik katakan keinginan Anda dengan baik. Misalnya ketika anak merengek minta mainan, katakan saja padanya, "Arka, kalau kamu terus merengek seperti itu, kita akan pulang sekarang. Tapi kalau kamu tidak nakal, kita akan tetap di toko ini dan memilih belanjaan bersama."

 

Alternatif lainnya adalah dengan beristirahat sejenak. Kenakalan anak dan kemarahan Anda mungkin saja merupakan tanda bahwa Anda atau anak butuh istirahat.

2.
"Kamu seharusnya malu." Banyak orangtua yang beranggapan bahwa dengan mengungkapkan hal tersebut, anak akan malu dan akan mengubah sikapnya sesuai dengan yang mereka inginkan. Namun, anak kecil belum dapat memahami rasa malu yang terjadi akibat kesalahan yang diperbuatnya. Oleh karena itu, hal ini belum tentu langsung berhasil. Jika terlalu sering mengatakan hal ini, maka mereka hanya akan berpikir bahwa segala sesuatu yang dilakukannya selalu salah.

3.

"Seandainya kamu tidak pernah ada." Kalimat ini punya makna: "Ayah dan ibu tidak pernah menginginkanmu." Karenanya, kalimat ini tidak sepantasnya diucapkan oleh orangtua. Kalimat ini akan sangat menyakitkan, baik bagi si anak maupun orang lain yang mendengarnya. Terlepas dari kenakalan yang telah dilakukan anak, ia hadir karena kehendak Anda dan suami. Maka, bersikaplah sebagai orangtua yang bertanggung jawab dengan mengasuh dan mendidik anak dengan baik, bukannya menyalahkannya karena lahir di dunia.

4.

"Kamu yang membuat Ibu bercerai." Tidak ada anak yang menjadi penyebab orangtuanya bercerai. Ketika kalimat ini diucapkan, maka secara tak langsung Anda membuat anak-anak menanggung beban emosional seumur hidupnya. Bahkan ketika Anda menjelaskan dengan penuh kehati-hatian tentang perceraian, anak-anak akan merasa sangat bertanggung jawab atas keputusan Anda untuk bercerai. Anak akan beranggapan bahwa jika dia bersikap lebih baik, maka Anda tidak akan bercerai. Meski tak terucapkan oleh anak, masalah ini sering jadi masalah yang serius.

5.
"Kenapa kamu tidak seperti saudaramu yang lain?" Dengan mengatakan hal ini, maka secara tidak langsung Anda membandingkan anak-anak dengan saudaranya yang lain bahwa anak tidak cukup pintar, cukup baik, ataupun cepat belajar dibanding saudaranya. Pembanding ini juga akan meningkatkan persaingan antarsaudara meningkat, yang kelak akan merusak hubungan persaudaraan dan mengembangkan keterpisahan. Terima setiap anak dalam keluarga Anda karena mereka memiliki keunikan dan keistimewaan sendiri. Bantu anak untuk melihat keistimewaan mereka dengan berfokus pada masing-masing individu tanpa menggunakan perbandingan.

6.
"Biar Ibu yang menyelesaikan." Mungkin, maksud hati ingin membantunya menyelesaikan pekerjaan rumah yang sulit dikerjakan. Namun, jika terlalu sering melakukan hal ini, maka Anda telah mengambil alih pekerjaan anak yang seharusnya bisa dikerjakannya sendiri. Hal ini justru malah akan melemahkannya. Mengambil alih pekerjaan anak mungkin bisa menghemat waktu Anda di masa sekarang, tetapi Anda meninggalkan beban di masa depan karena anak jadi tak terbiasa mandiri.

7.

"Ibu bilang begitu, ikuti saja." Kalimat ini memang terdengar seperti perintah keras bagi anak. Namun, arti yang terdalam dari kalimat ini adalah, "Saya orang dewasa, dan kamu anak-anak", atau "Saya pintar, dan kamu bodoh", atau "Saya berkuasa, dan kamu tidak", atau "Saya yang mengatur, dan kamu yang harus mengerjakan." Penegasan ini akan menciptakan jurang yang lebar antara Anda dan anak.

 

Gaya bicara seperti ini menimbulkan rasa kesal pada anak, bahkan mungkin rasa benci dan persaingan untuk berebut kekuasaan dalam rumah. Cobalah untuk menggunakan bahasa yang lebih baik untuk mengungkapkan ketidaksetujuan anak sehingga mereka lebih menghormati dan mengerti apa yang Anda rasakan.

 

 

Hormat Kami,
 
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Indian wisdom: two wolves.

Indian wisdom: two wolves.

 

An elder cherokee was teaching his grandchildren. He said to them "A fight is going on insight me. It is a terrible fight. It is between two wolves: one wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false, superiority & ego. The other stands for joy, peace, <3, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion & faith. This same fight is going on inside me, & inside every person".

 

They thought about it for a minute and asked: "which wolf will win?", the old cherokee simply replied... "The one you feed"

 

 

 

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Squeezing Healthy Meal Plans into a Hectic Life

Just like a lot of you guys, I'm super busy. There are things I just don't have time to do. However, no matter how hectic my life gets, I always make time for healthy meal plans. Is it easy? Not always. But good health is something I value; so the extra time I put into planning and preparing wholesome meals is well worth it. No matter how rushed life gets, you too can find time for good nutrition.

Plan Your Menus Ahead of Time

Instead of playing mealtimes by ear, plan your menu a week in advance. Weekly menu planning only takes a few minutes, but it can make working healthy meals into your life a lot easier. You can create a simple menu template on your computer or you can take a blank sheet of paper, divide it into sections and write down your meals and snacks for the week.

Some of you might find it more convenient to use a dry erase board for menu planning. There's no right or wrong way to create a menu. It's all about what works best for you. The only stipulation is that the meals you plan must be nutritious (no processed foods allowed). Once you finish making your menu, stick it on the refrigerator or somewhere else that's visible.

Get Your Grocery Shopping Done in One Swoop

You're more likely to stick with a nutritious meal plan if you don't have to make a mad dash to the grocery store everyday. Use your preplanned menu to make a list of all the foods you need to prepare your meals. Designate one day a week for grocery shopping so you can get it over with.

Take your list with you to the store so you won't forget anything. No more running back and forth to the market because you forgot important ingredients. Using a list also helps you stay on track and reduces the temptation to fill your buggy with cookies, chips and other junk.

Prepare Extra Food and Keep Meals Simple

Prepare more food than you need for one meal so you can have leftovers for the next day. For instance, instead of preparing half of a chicken for dinner, go ahead and pop the whole thing into the oven. When you get ready to eat the leftovers, simply heat them up. Cooking enough for more than one meal reduces your time in the kitchen and makes mealtimes less taxing (take it from the queen of leftovers).

Gourmet meals are nice (and yummy), but they're overrated. Unless you're throwing a fancy dinner party, the meals you prepare don't have to bear any resemblance to a gourmet meal. If you enjoy cooking this way, it's perfectly fine. But if you're short on time, quick dishes like salads topped with boiled eggs or salmon work for any meal.

When you live life at record speed, sticking to a nutritious meal plan can be tough. However, if you want to lose weight and improve your health, squeezing time out of your busy day to plan and prepare wholesome meals is important. Give the tips above a try – they just might work for you.

Want a jump start on healthy meal plans? The Diet Solution Program can help. Don't spend another day with a diet that takes up all of your time!

 

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Your Diet Plan for Weight Loss: How to Keep Hunger At Bay

Let's make sure we get one thing straight from the outset. When you're dieting, you shouldn't ever feel hungry. In fact, if you are hungry, you should consider eating more.The perfect diet plan for weight loss isn't about starving yourself, or depriving yourself of the essential foods you need to function at your prime.

In fact, it's not even about counting calories—and if you follow my blog, you know how I feel about calorie counting. Instead, the right way to eat healthy means switching out the foods that are bad for you, and replacing them with foods that are good for you.

But even if you don't reduce your food intake by that much, you may have an adjustment period as you begin to shed belly fat. It's really more of a mind over matter thing than real starvation. If you've been used to eating large quantities of the wrong kind of food, you might go through a kind of withdrawal period once you begin eating healthfully.

So are there any ways to combat these hunger pains, without giving in to the urge to binge? Absolutely! Let's look at a few techniques you should incorporate into your diet plan to lose weight:

Drink Your Water

First and foremost, you should be drinking plenty of water once you start your eating plan. In fact, you should be drinking at least half your body weight in ounces of water per day. So, for example, if you weigh 160 pounds, you should drink 80 ounces at a minimum per day.

Not only will water help flush toxins from your body, it can help combat edema and water retention. Need an even more compelling reason to drink water? Your body can often misinterpret thirst for hunger, actually causing your stomach to growl.

So before you reach for something more to eat check to see how much water you've had to drink. If you haven't had enough for the day, drink plenty of H20 before you have anything else to eat.

Eat Healthy Fats

Yes, you can eat fat while you are on a diet. Does this mean you have my permission to run out and devour a bucket of fried chicken? Wishful thinking, but the answer is no.

You need to eat plenty of healthy fats, which are MUFAs or PUFAs, while you are dieting. These healthy fats will help contribute to a feeling of satiety between meals, as well as give you the essential fatty acids you need to function at your prime. Healthy fats include olive oil, organic butter, coconut oil, raw nuts, nut butters, and avocadoes.

Eat Lots of Fiber

Everyone knows that including high amounts of fiber in your diet helps while you are trying to reduce your weight, but no one really seems to know why it's important. Well, there are two reasons.

1. Fiber keeps you from becoming constipated, which can happen when you make a sudden dietary change—even if that change is for the better.
2. Fiber helps you feel full more quickly, and helps you remain that way between meals.

As a rule, you should consider including a serving of fiber with every meal, even snacks. In fact, I usually recommend you include your favorite type of green vegetable with meals, such as a salad or celery sticks.

Stay Active

While exercising doesn't have much to do with what you put in your mouth, it can have a huge impact on the success of your eating plan and how hungry you feel. I'm not a fan of long hours on the treadmill, as you probably know. In fact, I prefer shorter workouts with more interval training and strength training thrown in because I feel it gives you more bang for your buck.

But no matter how you choose to get and stay active, you should know that it will make your metabolism more efficient, allowing you to continue burning calories several hours after your workout has ended. So while you are working on eating a better diet, find ways to incorporate active movement into your daily routine. You'll train your body to burn calories more efficiently over time.

The Diet Solution Program was designed with one focus in mind: to help people learn to eat better and thus transform their lives. If you want to learn more about how to lose weight without feeling deprived, consider downloading my program today!

If you are new to The Diet Solution program, watch this video to learn more about a diet plan for weight loss. It's more than just a fad diet; it's a lifestyle change that you'll love!

 

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Jakarta 12120
Ph.: +622172796416 (Hunting)
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